How many times have you asked someone, “How are you?”
And how many times have you heard the response, “I’m great! I’m wonderful! I’m peachy! I’m OK!”
And how many times have you answered that same question with a similar retort?
But you know in your heart that the person you asked that question was not OK; and you are not OK. Instead, they feel brOKen ~ you feel brOKen ~ distraught ~ things and situations are just not going their way or your way.
What can you do when you know someone is really hurting or when you are really aching inside?
We cannot fix a person’s (or our) sorrow or pain but there are some things we can do that may make a difference. We can really listen if that person shares their feeling of desperation; we can hold their hand or give a hug; we can pray for them. We can share stories of inspiration and healing. We can recommend therapists, ministers, rabbis or coaches whose compassionate experience and wisdom can be restorative. We can do the same for ourselves. We can share our sadness or hurt with a trusted friend; we can ask for a hug; we can ask for prayer; we can find a resource to assist us in moving forward ~ because while we often say “I’m OK” when asked “How are you?,” we are not OK but the most important thing to remember is that we will all be OK if we allow ourselves time to heal.
I know ~ I have been there.
10 Ways to be OK Again
- Acknowledge your pain or distress. Know when you are not OK and express it.
- Seek help if you become too distraught, feel unable to cope or feel a tremendous sense of overwhelm.
- Talk to a trusted friend.
- Walk outdoors. Getting fresh air and exercise helps support circadian rhythms and elevates serotonin levels.
- Mediate. Setting aside a few minutes a day to sit quietly and free the mind from distractions has been proven effective in relaxing and quieting the body, mind, and soul.
- Write ~ keep a journal and inscribe record your feelings without worrying about grammar or punctuation. Write for 10 minutes a day without putting your pen down. Let out your true feelings and thoughts. Be angry. Be sad. Be vulnerable. Be silly.
- Pray and listen to what your inner voice is telling you about this experience. Learn from your challenge. Give back to others what you have acquired as a result of your soul-searching.
- In all things (good and bad), be grateful; one day, you will be OK. Just know that there will always be moments in your life when things are not going to be the way you hoped or planned. There will be a new direction emerging ~ perhaps one with a greater opportunity to make changes in your life or in the world in which you live.
- Seek out professional help, if you need it. You are not weak; you are learning how to become stronger. Ministers, rabbis, doctors, therapists and coaches are trained to help you find the answers that lie within you. No one but you has the answers to your trials ~ professionals assist you in seeing what is best for you.
- Show compassion not only to others but to yourself. Give yourself permission to say "no," to sit and do nothing, to watch movies on your day off or read a book. And, most importantly, bring joy to other people in your daily walk. When you bring happiness to another human being, you temporarily forget your troubles; and, as a result, your spirit will be lifted too